I somehow magically lucked out this morning, and walked into my 9am class this morning, only to find out it was cancelled. Normally my reaction would be anger 'cause that's one more hour of sleep I could have had. However, I took it as a good thing 'cause it gave me something I've had very little of lately. Extra time/free time. My afternoons are strictly reserved for studying, piano playing, and working out, unless I have a rare band practice, or am scheduled for work. My nights are completely occupied with rehearsals for cabaret, work, playing shows or band practices, and if there's time studying, and a tiny bit of relaxing but not much.
I am tired all of the time lately.
I forgot how exhausting it can be to be in a play. I love it though, when you think about the whole process, and all the time and energy that goes into a production, I mean it's really an amazing outcome. This isn't something I can really do all the time anymore like I used to when I was younger, but I think I'm going to have to do this at least once maybe twice a year. It offers a different kind of release then playing music. I get to pretend to be somebody else every night. That's why i liked it in the first place, oh and the singing and dancing. That's just fun. Oh yeah and the making new friends, I like that part a lot too.
I attempted to dye my hair last night and holy disaster. AAAAAAH! I attempted to go back to my original color which is a medium golden brown, and ended up with the top of my hair lighter then the bottom. It looks horribe. I'm fixing it tonight. I'm ashamed to be out in public really.
I have to go to astronomy now and learn about the history of the planet earth in geological terms. Will my eyes stay open? I have no clue!
My first test of the semester is on thursday, child and family development. I'm a little freaked out. The real semester has begun now, and I'm a tad bit behind.
I have no boyfriend, no regular intimacy, just a few people to talk to or text to say hey. I'm not getting a lot of male attention, and its fabulous.
I'm the best boyfriend for myself anyway!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
overwrought
Oh lord.
I think I put way too much on my plate, what state of mind was I in when I planned out the beginning of 2009. This week I have been running on 12 hour days. 12 hour days!!!! It's not stopping until saturday either. I have one day to relax and that's saturday. 15 credit hours, Cabaret rehearsals, band rehearsals, song writing, studying, volunteering, and working.
WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!?!?!?!?! It's only going to get worse too, 'cause its only the beginning of the semester.
I'm just exhausted, I can barely keep my eyes open half the time. I can't even imagine what it's like to be a new mother, I'm guessing its something close to this with less sleep, and you have I don't know a human life to completely take care of.
I've given up on having a social life. I just don't have time.
I think I put way too much on my plate, what state of mind was I in when I planned out the beginning of 2009. This week I have been running on 12 hour days. 12 hour days!!!! It's not stopping until saturday either. I have one day to relax and that's saturday. 15 credit hours, Cabaret rehearsals, band rehearsals, song writing, studying, volunteering, and working.
WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!?!?!?!?! It's only going to get worse too, 'cause its only the beginning of the semester.
I'm just exhausted, I can barely keep my eyes open half the time. I can't even imagine what it's like to be a new mother, I'm guessing its something close to this with less sleep, and you have I don't know a human life to completely take care of.
I've given up on having a social life. I just don't have time.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
And so school begins......again
I'm not going to talk about new years ever, or the events that directly proceeded it. All that needs to be discussed about that is that I'm okay now, I'm staying with my mom for the time being, I probably have a new house to move into next week, and I'm 100% sober for the time being.
Now that's all out of the way.
I'm back in school!!!! Classes started today. I am slowly but surely beginning to see the outline of the finish line which is exciting. I still have time til its done, but its oh so much closer.
My classes this semester:
Child and Family Development
Art History II (modern art and architecture)
Social Problems
The profession of Social Work
Life in the Universe
15 credits, I should be able to handle this, no math! Should be fine! No labs, should be fine!
The events of the day:
-I woke up at 7:30am. WHAT? I haven't woken up that early in so long, good lord it was crazy!
-i ate breakfast! WHAT? oh yeah I eat breakfast now, balanced and nutritious
-go to first class, am deeply satisfied that the professor is organized and proficient, am a little distraught that there are 400 freaking people in the class, however I make friends with the girl next to me. I decide that it'll probably be a good one
-I book it down to the new art school. Holy crap the new art school is beautiful! Modern! I'm blown away however i forgot to write the room number down in my planner and am praying that all the people waiting in the atrium are waiting for the same class. I look at this one girl who makes eye contact with me smile and ask if the group is waiting for art his 2400, she just blankly looks at me as if I came from the planet mars. I figure she must be deaf or doesn't understand english and ask someone else, I then hear first girl twittering and giggling and saying to her sorostitute friend in english, " Oh my god, did you see that girls SCARF. I mean Really?' HOLD UP. Okay first of all, I may not look like your average white or black or whatever 20 something year old, I have a very unique style but I do not look like a freak, I look damn good. Second of all YOU ARE IN THE ART SCHOOL!!!! HELLO! PEOPLE LOOK WIERD IN THE ART SCHOOL ITS CALLED ARTISTIC EXPRESSION!!!! Sorry I do not have a signature very bradley bag, or highlights, but do not be making fun of me in front of me.
I guess another one to plop into the mediocre pile. Good luck in the real world honey, your gonna need it, your cliqueishness and snobbery only take you so far. You're going to wonder where your so called friends your trying to impress are when you really need them. I learned that lesson real quick in high school. (not all of them, the ones that matter I'm still in contact with in some form). UGH! I hate having to feel sorry for people. Maybe I should pray for her, that she realizes that there's more to life then how you look, and that she develops a warm heart and gets over her deep insecurities. Not to mention, my scarf rules.
- I'm glad I sort of remember where everything is on campus
- there are a lot of blondes here
- there are some HOT boys this semester. Wow. I mean woah, where in the heck have they been hiding, y'all need to stroll on over to my side of town.
- I got the last free new york times! woooo!
- I feel really good
That's it in a nutshell, I feel on top of things, I feel clearheaded and good, I still have some kinks in my conciousness to work out but that takes time.
Viva la School!
Now that's all out of the way.
I'm back in school!!!! Classes started today. I am slowly but surely beginning to see the outline of the finish line which is exciting. I still have time til its done, but its oh so much closer.
My classes this semester:
Child and Family Development
Art History II (modern art and architecture)
Social Problems
The profession of Social Work
Life in the Universe
15 credits, I should be able to handle this, no math! Should be fine! No labs, should be fine!
The events of the day:
-I woke up at 7:30am. WHAT? I haven't woken up that early in so long, good lord it was crazy!
-i ate breakfast! WHAT? oh yeah I eat breakfast now, balanced and nutritious
-go to first class, am deeply satisfied that the professor is organized and proficient, am a little distraught that there are 400 freaking people in the class, however I make friends with the girl next to me. I decide that it'll probably be a good one
-I book it down to the new art school. Holy crap the new art school is beautiful! Modern! I'm blown away however i forgot to write the room number down in my planner and am praying that all the people waiting in the atrium are waiting for the same class. I look at this one girl who makes eye contact with me smile and ask if the group is waiting for art his 2400, she just blankly looks at me as if I came from the planet mars. I figure she must be deaf or doesn't understand english and ask someone else, I then hear first girl twittering and giggling and saying to her sorostitute friend in english, " Oh my god, did you see that girls SCARF. I mean Really?' HOLD UP. Okay first of all, I may not look like your average white or black or whatever 20 something year old, I have a very unique style but I do not look like a freak, I look damn good. Second of all YOU ARE IN THE ART SCHOOL!!!! HELLO! PEOPLE LOOK WIERD IN THE ART SCHOOL ITS CALLED ARTISTIC EXPRESSION!!!! Sorry I do not have a signature very bradley bag, or highlights, but do not be making fun of me in front of me.
I guess another one to plop into the mediocre pile. Good luck in the real world honey, your gonna need it, your cliqueishness and snobbery only take you so far. You're going to wonder where your so called friends your trying to impress are when you really need them. I learned that lesson real quick in high school. (not all of them, the ones that matter I'm still in contact with in some form). UGH! I hate having to feel sorry for people. Maybe I should pray for her, that she realizes that there's more to life then how you look, and that she develops a warm heart and gets over her deep insecurities. Not to mention, my scarf rules.
- I'm glad I sort of remember where everything is on campus
- there are a lot of blondes here
- there are some HOT boys this semester. Wow. I mean woah, where in the heck have they been hiding, y'all need to stroll on over to my side of town.
- I got the last free new york times! woooo!
- I feel really good
That's it in a nutshell, I feel on top of things, I feel clearheaded and good, I still have some kinks in my conciousness to work out but that takes time.
Viva la School!
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